Stop Running
Around Chasing Everyone Else's Agenda
I get great delight in keeping in
contact with my former students. Not to hear how I have
helped then, but to see what they did with what I taught
them. Indirectly we do a lot of personal development and
career planning. I get to know each one little by little
as we do all sorts of activities either alone or in
small groups. I can see who will go the extra mile and
who will do just enough to get by…without being noticed.
I can see who has the talent and patience to be really
good with assistive feeding or personal care or
therapeutic activities. Many of my students are new
citizens: a few are recent high school graduates.
Regardless, they all come with their own personalities,
expectations, and skill sets. Many think this is the
best career option to get recognized training and quick,
well-paying jobs. In my opinion, health care is not a
good career choice for many of these students. But it
does put food on the table till something more suitable
comes into their lives. Frankly, I don't want to see
people in the nursing profession because it’s a good job
opportunity. Dealing with people, especially the ill or
elderly or challenged in any way, requires someone who
wants to BE there. So I really look closely at the
students and their motives. I have developed "assistive
learning" measures as opposed to the regular teaching
methods. This gives me glimpses of talents that I can
discuss with them privately so that they can enhance
these gifts.
With high school grads, I don't really look too closely
at their career paths for two reasons.
Firstly, they are usually really
"young" and energetic and resilient. If they aren't
suitable, they won't be in the field long enough for me
to worry about. I am more concerned about protecting the
patients.
The second reason is that they have had recent access to
career planning. Also they don't normally have a lot of
additional responsibility and can make life changes
quickly. Most of them are not afraid to speak out and up
for themselves. (Sometime, they have to be helped with
toning that down a bit.)
The students I really work with closely, with active
support and encouragement, are the ones who are afraid
to speak up or don't recognize the importance of being
their patient's advocate. So in teaching them those
skills, I am also teaching them to start speaking out
for themselves. For many this is life changing and
scary…so again they need to do a lot of personal
development. This could easily include finding out
what's really important to themselves…How they feel
about things they see and don't like…What their values
are…Or their expectations. Many people have never been
asked those things. And as caregivers, it's crucial that
they are "comfortable " with themselves. Then they can
protect their patient or their family with determination
and confidence.
I want to go back to the title of this article…"Stop
Running Around, Chasing Everyone Else's Agenda". I can
think of many students who for several reasons
experiencing major career shifts What I would like to
show is how people at anytime for whatever reason, need
to take control of their lives…to "chase their own
agendas: not someone else's.
Dave is now 56. He came through the business community
and managed several very successful ventures. Eventually
because of differences of opinions, he left the
corporate world and took time off to see what he could
do with the rest of his life. He was obviously tired of
everybody' else's agenda: it was time to discover his
own! His search led him to the healthcare field, and
nursing in a long term facility. What was so fabulous
about him was his maturity and confidence! He wasn't
afraid to speak out or to question or to report things
he didn't like. And he questioned. No sacred cows for
him…and the healthcare world has many…Nothing escaped
his eagle eye where care was concerned. I thought he
would really enjoy doing all the odd positions that are
more available to men in health care, but he surprised
me. He chose to work in a large facility, on call, and
it has worked out exactly as it should: his talents are
very well suited to this work. He is very conscientious.
And he is well respected by the established staff…a feat
not easily done by new grads. On top of that, his wife,
who was not at all supportive and helpful about his
career change, is now much happier…hence he is much more
relaxed and focused and confident.
Many women in this field enjoy working
in larger facilities, where there are others to work
with and talk to. But this didn't suit Loraine, a single
mother: again her career needs were different. She
worked in a large facility for a short while and decided
it wasn't for her, but she didn't know what would suit
her. Through a couple of moves, she discovered that she
enjoyed working alone, in her home. Now she has foreign
students and a boarder or two in the home that she has
adapted to municipal standards. And is very happy
looking after all of her "family". All her skills are in
use and the parents love the fact she has this kind of
background. Had she stayed in the large facility or even
in home support setting, she would not be as productive
and effective as she is now.
In my last example, the change is even more dramatic.
Tina had her own very successful daycare business. Plus
she worked a second job at a gas bar. She did this even
while attending class. And kept up her high grade point
average. With a husband and two children, she wasn't
sure what she wanted, so she set out to explore all her
options. She started out in a large facility, only to
get more calls from a smaller, private one. She
discovered she really liked the more personalized care
of the group home setting. She ended up finding a field
of work that really interested her….for a time… until
she got bored with the politics and everyone telling her
what to do. She decided she loved this kind of patient
and started to explore the possibility of owning her own
facility. In the end, she decided she really didn't want
that either. She has just decided to become a financial
planner and help others handle their finances
successfully. ! She continues to work her part time
position, but now, because she is settled and more
focused, she is relaxed and happy.
Now what is my point here? We can be very stressed out
and be "sitting ducks" for heart attacks and other
unhealthful conditions if we don't realize we are
fighting ourselves. You simply cannot be tightly wound
up with other people's agendas or directions without
having some long-lasting negative health effects. Yes,
it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself…for
the first few times, but it gets easier. And you can do
it in a way so it won't offend anyone. If you can't make
positive changes where you presently are, you need to
find something else. Yes, that too, is very stressful.
And taking the next available job is also stressful.
Until you work in harmony with your own talents and
likes, life will continue to pose a potential health
hazard.
If you have read to the end of this
article, I will be surprised if you are one of the 90%
of the population who will never achieve much with their
lives. They are not willing to step out…with trepidation
and anxiety…to find their purpose for life. You, as part
of the 10%, know that you will eventually find something
to fit your dreams and health. But if you don't even
try, you won’t know just how much you CAN do. And then
there is that 90% which my friend and corporate trainer,
Jerry Clark, calls the Murphy Committee. This
"committee" will try anything to stop you from
succeeding. This will be your friends and family…the
people who don't want good things for you: they want to
"protect" you (from your dreams).
Help yourself…to get a decent night's sleep. To get your
blood pressure under control, to have a happier home
life and live a more relaxed way. Avoid or eliminate
other people's agendas!
July 7/02
Karin
If you would like more
information on this topic, or if you would like to know
if we could help you get some relief, please
use
this link to ask your health question or
request more information on getting some help.
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Karin Henderson British Columbia, Canada (604) 463 8666
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