A Hard, But Necessary Decision: Finding A New Home For A Loved One.

At last you've come to a very painful decision: as a family you have decided it's time put your mother in a care facility. You know she is not going to be very happy. She has watched her friends in "old age homes" and didn't like what she saw. This has been one of your most difficult decisions: you feel you are abandoning her to strangers. Your guilt is overpowering! But it must be done and you have thought it out...long and hard before coming to this conclusion. Her care has become very strenuous and at times she won't co-operate. Also, deep down, you know that you don't have all the skills and equipment that would keep her independent.

But you also recall the horror stories about some places, so choosing the right facility is crucial. The place will have to suit both of you. It's just as important for you to know someone cares for her as much as you do as it is for your mom to be happy or else she'll want to leave. That will create more headaches and a lot of unhappiness!
Before coming to one of these facilities, most residents will fear a real loss of independence and dignity, and will worry about safety issues. As well, they feel they will be a burden to everyone and can't be themselves anymore: that they will have to make MAJOR CHANGES and they don't want to.

So you will have to find a place where independence is valued and protected. 

Take heart: many good ones exist. With patience, time, and a mission, you will find a suitable facility where she will be happy and settle right in.

March 21/02
Karin.

If you would like more information on this topic, or if you would like to know if we could help you get some relief, please use this link to ask your health question or request more information on getting some help.
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Karin Henderson British Columbia, Canada (604) 463 8666